“When you have a burning desire to WIN, to accomplish something more than yourself, that need, that desire, will help you through those rough patches.”

Early on, I found that a common pattern formed when the topic of “passion” and “joy” were brought up to me.  I would be asked, “What are you passionate about?” and my usual response-depending on my mood is either: “I’m not sure, a lot of things” or “I have no idea.” How in the world am I supposed to find this out when I’m so busy with my full time job, my kids, and trying to keep my house in a some-what acceptable condition. What going me going throughout the day-what motivated me and made me work happily into the late hours of night?  At the time, I didn’t have an answer.

Now I do.

Can I tell you the moment that I switched my mindset and decided that I wanted my kid version back-the one full of hopes and dreams-the one that believed that I can create my own life story?  I can. Now, am I saying that I completely ditched the idea of trying to be a “great” parent or wife?  No way- in fact, I’m still so proud of my Pinterest Moana cupcakes that I made for my daughter’s birthday party.  Let me tell you, I went ALL out on that party.

But let’s get back to focusing more on the shift of mindset.  I finally allowed myself to dream, to hope, to take action to create the life I wanted to live.  There were two moments in time that helped me transform my mindset, and my life.  One was a friendly co-worker telling me to be more “flexible”-to give up my “non-negotiables.”  I quickly dismissed that advice, because it would make me go against my personal truths. The second, was from a friend that on the outside, you would think had the perfect life.  When she opened up, I found that she went through some really rough patches, long lengths of time that really challenged her, and how she continuously decides to choose to live a happier life.

That got to me.  Maybe it was the vulnerability.  Maybe it was the shock of it all.  Maybe it was the fact that she chose to be happy and to live her life.   Well, long story short-that was my moment.  That was the moment that I decided that I wanted to create my own story, to design my own dreams and more importantly, live them.

Are you ready to commit to yourself? 

If you are, you have to figure out what you want your life to look like. Join us at our Facebook Group for more information on how to Design Your Dream.

When you are deciding what you want your life to look like-I recommend both intrinsic desires and extrinsic desires.  Intrinsic gives you a sense of meaning-internal positive emotions.  Extrinsic is a reward, money, acclaim, some prize that will bring short-term emotion.  Read more about Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic motivation here.

Here is a quick exercise:

Ask Yourself:

  1. What do I want?
  2. What is something that I dread doing everyday? Dishes? Waking up Early?
  3. Take your answer from #1, if you could have that, would you voluntarily do #2 everyday for the next 10 years?

Let’s take myself as an example.  Me and the mornings do not go well together-especially during the chillier months where laying in bed underneath the covers is my version of extreme happiness.  I wake up early because I need to wake up early- to arrive to work on time.  I need to wake up early to get the kids ready and off to school on time.  I do it because it is necessary.  What would I voluntarily wake up early for?  What would I have to achieve-or be on the path of achieving to make me WANT to wake up early?  These are the questions I ask myself to determine if this is truly something I intrinsically want.  If the answer is No, I won’t voluntarily wake up early, then I have not discovered what I truly want.

As you continue down the path of  self discovery, and you keep asking yourself, “what do I want?” you start to dive into your inner desires-your intrinsic motivation.  The cars, the big house, the nice watch, etc all start to disappear from your answers.  Would I voluntarily wake up every day to have an Audi?  No, I wouldn’t. I may do it for a month, though.

When you find that burning desire to do something that may seem dreadful, when you have this burning desire to win and achieve something, that intrinsic motivation will help you through the rough patches ahead. Those rough spots will come-it is just part of the process and it is better to accept and mentally prepare for those to happen.

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If you would like to go through some exercises or a guided meditation with one of Design Your Dream’s Certified Coaches, please reach out to us by clicking here.

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